Thursday, October 27, 2011

Feeling sorry for myself , being a mom, wife, daughter is hard.

Tonight as I write this post I am feeling very sorry for myself. I am in hoo.  I think its because I am over tired.

I should have retitled this M is not for MOTHER, M is for Martyr because that's how I will come across.

I often feel it would be so much easier to be a man. They don't have the same amount of work as women do. Often their jobs end at the end of their work day and everyone knows a mothers work is never done.
This month I have been helping my mom pack up and move into a seniors apartment. If you have seen a seniors apartment they are very tiny , so we have not only been packing but downsizing and getting rid of things and it is very difficult.

I am the only girl in the family so of course the work falls on me, it doesn't help that I have siblings who live out of town either. I am blessed that two of my sister in laws helped as often as they could and I appreciate it so much. I never would have done it without their help.

 Everyday this month  I have been going to my moms as soon as I get kids to school and  put in a full day there, come home, make supper, do homework, run the kids to lessons, do my laundry and house work, make lunches, sign notes for school and appointments as well as teach a bible study once a week  etc.

This week I am unpacking my mom, cleaning her old place, trying to get kids Halloween costumes ready, parent teacher interviews, social workers and meetings and dental appointments and a child's  birthday next week so will need to buy a present and plan something.

Although the REV helps, he doesn't ever do the costumes the interviews, the meetings, the gift buying or appointments.He helped move the items from the apartment, but then his job is over. all the men come move items and go home. that's the end of their helping. The women were there helping move boxes too.

I have month end to do and receipts which again is my job, admin stuff falls on me for the fostering .

I have also been sick and had sick kids so juggling everything on top of it all.

It doesn't seem fair to me. Why do women get all the work? Why doesn't the day end? People say to me , take time for yourself.Okay I will! But  then who will cook, or clean or do laundry??? who looks after the kids when they are sick? who is making the lunches and helping with the homework? who is buying the birthday gifts?

The Rev is planning a hunting trip for next week. Not one thought as to how things will work out for us. Guys can just take off and the home still works and goes on. It's difficult for women to just take off. AGAIN not fair.

Currently I don't see an end in sight because Christmas is approaching quickly and the gift buying is up to me to do. the baking , the cards and everything else Christmas job.

tomorrow things will look a little brighter. I know I live a very busy life and normally I go minute by minute. I get overwhelmed when I look at everything I have to do and wonder how I will get it all done. I always do get it done, but for tonight I  have to sit back and cry and feel sorry for myself . And wonder why my job doesn't end.


  1. Oh Karen...truer words were never spoken! A woman's work is never done! This week, Mark has to work late every night, so the tuck-ins all fall to me. When he gets home, he can plop himself down on the couch and not get up again. I can plop myself down on the couch once the younger kids are in bed and then go load the dishwasher and run it, put the supper away, sit down, put a load of laundry in, sit down, change the laundry over, sit down make sure my older one has done his homework, sit down, get the laundry out of the dryer and fold it, sit down, return e-mails, do lesson planning and photocopying for homeschooling the next day, write out a grocery list and meal plan...sometimes the division of labour makes me want to scream...especially when a certain someone complains about the house not being clean!!!

    I know that what I should be saying right now is "you can do it!" "Allow God to give you the strength and extra energy that things like Halloween and Christmas bring", but one of my kids was throwing up all night, my birthday is tomorrow and other than me making myself some special food and planning something myself and taking the kids out for lunch, the day will be like any other, so I'm not in the place to give good advice. I'm too busy being a mommy martyr myself today!!!

    I do hope though that today looks brighter than yesterday for you and that you get a burst of energy or that you win the lottery and can get a live-in maid!

  2. Sharla i knew you would understand! you not only do homeschooling but have a chronically ill daughter who needs you. ITS TOUGH!
    I also do the bed time routines....

    you and I need to do our pity party! some wine, some kleenex.....a chic flick....

  3. I was going to suggest some wine too, but I see you beat me too it!

  4. We will get our time away in November and there may have to be some wine and maybe even a chick flick! (I won't dwell on the fact that there will also be some learning about special needs parenting involved too though!)